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The Fourth Estate, Venerated Stewards of Public Opinion™, took to ruminating on the historical significance of the event. "Will they sing about Dick Mayor III and the Great Rat Deluge we've just...
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"I think so. Absolutely, Chuck. Trey Mayor is a reformist and a visionary, a true intellectual with a Mandate of Heaven. His place in history is guaranteed."
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"Oh, Sancho, you liberals are so full of shit, you endanger Hamelin with your stupidity. Your loved ones should lynch you for the common good. Dick Mayor is an ineffectual commie queeirdo who’ll be the...
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A week went by and Hamelin was still rat-free. The mayor wasn't coming by to pay the Lobo, so Lobo called the mayors' office."Yes, um, my name is Hobo Lobo.""We didn't order any, this is some sort of...
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A more hands-on approach was in order. Lobo dusted off his best suit and headed downtown. He maneuvered through the thick gooey protocol traps laid out by the bureaucracy and busted in on the mayor.
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He apologized for distracting the mayor from the affairs of state, promised to be brief and reminded him that he was owed--in compensation for services rendered--an insurmountable mountain of treasure.
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"I will gladly be discreet about all the help I provided you and the city--because I am well aware of how this shit works--but I would not think twice to draw attention to your unhonored dues were it...
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"You damn rotten MEATBAG!" the mayor flipped out. "No, no, ‘meatbag’ is too good for you--you're not worth the meat that's hanging on yer bones--you're a ‘heatbag’, just a brief exothermic reaction in...
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That is when Hobo Lobo decided to sue the mayor and the city government for breach of contract.
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The judge demanded to see the contract in question and was not satisfied with the explanation that it was a verbal agreement. Lobo was deemed in contempt of the court for bringing up a frivolous suit....
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"Today on Chuck Krispin Tells It How It Is: hardcore pornographic leftists, liberal sympathizers, and a heartwarming tale of pure hatred. But first, in the studio with us is none other than the...
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"Thank you, thank you. Now, earlier today you have resoundingly beaten some very serious charges levied against you in civil court. Care to tell us about dealing with people who’ve clearly divorced...
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"No doubt. Moving on to more serious matters, Mr. Mayor. Some say that you’re an illegitimate and effete interloper who is destroying the sacred institutions of Family Values and Laissez-Faire...
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"You paint a grim future, Mr. Mayor.""It's dangerous out there. That is why Hamelin needs a powerful, principled and proven leader in this time of relentless tribulation and adversity.""Let's take some...
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"Mayor? Children?""Love your children. That is what it's all about. Explain to them what they should and shouldn't be curious about. As I single-handedly led the prayer vigil into its 74th week, it was...
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